If someone had of said to me a badly produced, low budget badly acted 13 minute trailer would cause a world wide up roar, protests, murders and death sentences, I would of said 'only on the internet.'
I watched it, I had to, I had to see what the fuss was about. I was disgusted and could see why people would be deeply offended. But I still didn't understand how something so crap could cause so much trouble! But I am not Muslim, and if it was Jesus of Muhammed pbuh instead, I would of felt the same. But i think Muslims honour their Prophets more than any other religion, and the idea of someone disrespecting such a prominent figure in Islam, is similar to someone disrespecting their own mother.
The film is basically a poorly written, poorly produced steaming pile, designed to cause offence. I think the idiot responsible was hoping for something like this, instant fame for little work.
I feel the real victims of this 'film' are the actors and actresses who were unaware of the intention of the film. The actress Lily Dionne has spoken out repeatedly about her horror on discovering the true intent of the production. She is quoted saying she is 'sick and disgusted' and feels 'betrayed' by the films producer. In an interview with CNN, Miss Dionne says she answered an ad on craiglist, for a film about a desert worrior. The main character was called George and it appeared to have no religious or political basis.
Watching the trailer the first time, I did notice when the actors said Mohammed, their lips said 'George' i have poor hearing so some lip reading abilities and i found that seriously strange, to the point I watched it back twice. Now we know why, the actors had been tricked, and voice overs were used to change the name, the whole plot of the film was a total lie.
The producer went into hiding, leaving the actors, actresses and crew to bear the brunt of the media frenzy. After the protests, violence and deaths at the hand of this film, I think its safe to bet they were fearing for their lives, I know I would of been.
On the other side of the coin, the response to the film shocked and disgusted me as much, if not more, than the film. People completely not involved with this film were killed. The U.S ambassador Christopher Stevens and three other US embassy staff were killed. They had nothing whatsoever to do with this film, in any context. The horrific display of violence bothered me on a personal level.
I spend a lot of my time defending Muslims and Islam. Islam has been a scapegoat and massively misunderstood since the 9/11 tragedy. I'm honestly gobsmacked by come of the comments I see, the things people believe. And i defend. I stand up, I tell the truth as i understand it. Then people take to the streets, lighting fires, blowing things up, fighting, chanting hate speech and it just undoes all the work the average Muslim has done to prove that not all Muslims are terrorists in the same way all Irish people are not real IRA members.
Peaceful protests, petitions, blogs, videos, LOVE, that's the way to show the world 'we are offended by this, here are my reasons why, please support us in getting this thing removed. Imagine it was Jesus depicted in such a manner, by a Muslim producer. please, stand with us.'
In conclusion, I was disgusted by the whole caper. The video AND the reaction to it. I just thank God for the Muslim leaders and public figures condemning the actions of a few. Sadly, the way of the world now, the loudest voices are often negative, the positive speak only in whispers. the negative screams are the ones that are heard, the positive whispers are brushed aside.
I hope now we can build bridges, and the Muslim community understand that one Coptic Christian does NOT speak for all Christians, and the rest of the world understand that a handful of Muslims is NOT an entire community.
Love and Peace.
sources:
CNN
THE GUARDIAN
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
Ice Breaker Questions...Little Known Stuffs About Me
My fiance Stuart has started himself a blog, and in his first blog post he he answered some icebreaker questions. it was actually a really interesting blog so i thought i'd steal the idea and do it myself. you should read his blog, its very good and i'll link to it below. i'm not just saying its good by the way, it actually is. i was well shocked. not that Stuarts thick or anything, i just didnt know he had any literary skill.
What is one goal you’d like to accomplish during your lifetime?
I've my life goal has always been to write a novel and get it published. i'm currently writing a novel. i have actually written a full, 50,000 words novel many years ago, that was destroyed by someone i wont mention. So im now fulfilling my life long dream/goal of writing and, InshAllah, getting my novel published. I will update on the progress of said novel in future blogs.
If you could visit any place in the world, where would you choose to go and why?
i have two places actually, the first and foremost is Paris, France. All my life i've loved france, the language, the people, the geography. i went once, with my school when i was 14, just for the day. this is the one and only time i've left the UK, it was for about 12 hours and i loved every single nanosecond and i've spent the many years that have followed that day, edging to go back. Paris has always my desired destination, but over the last 6 months i've really wanted to go to Egypt. i want to visit a Muslim country, to hear the Azaan in real life, see everyone rush to prayer, to be surrounded by covered women, and it being the norm rather than the minority. even though i'm not Muslim, as most of you know, i have massive respect and interest in Islam, so to experience it myself would be wonderful
Are you a morning or night person?
I'm a night person, i hate mornings as a rule. well, i hate getting up in the morning, but i love 5am-6am in spring, the fresh crisp air, the silence of traffic, the birds singing and the sun slowly waking up. and a lovely cuppa tea to complete the picture. bliss.
If you had to describe yourself using three words, it would be…
Honest, Loving, and i like to hope, funny.
Who is your favourite Author?
I have two, John Green, author of Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns and his latest book The Fault In Our Stars. The other is Richelle Mead, author of the vampire academy series and the storm queen series, both are absolutely mind blowingly awesome series of books.
If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
it varies. obviously and author, but in addition to that, i'd be a singer or actress. i have no singing ability, and my memory is too rubbish for acting . because there's a reasonable wage in these career choices, i'd use the many monies to go do charity/missionary work in developing countries, building/supply hospitals, provinding health and nutritional care to mothers and young children etc.
What do you most dislike to see in people?
i absolutely despise people being rude and patronising. really hate it. as with most people, if someone is rude to me, i can be rude back. i'm only rude back about 50% of the time, but because i live by my motto : 'you cant expect respect if you don't give it, speak to people how you want to be spoken to' people are not very often rude to me. i just don't give people a reason to be rude to me. so if someone is rude, i'm often so shocked, i just don't say anything. i dont see the need. a week ago, someone i wont name was extremely rude to me from the first sentence. we'd never met before, i had no idea who she was and i was absolutely gobsmacked that she spoke to me like i was naughty child. she was rude and very condesending at the same time, no mean feat, and i was so surprised i literally said nothing. but every so often, someone will be rude or condesending and i will respond in kind. heres a mini story of such an occasion:...
i was taken to a and e with severe pain from my neck down. i had a brain fluid disorder which was causing the pain. my baby's nan took me to the hospital. a doctor, who, Wallahi was called Doctor Seuss, looked straight over the top of my head and practically demanded of my babys nan : 'what is it thats wrong with her?'
my rather surprised baby's nan replied: 'i dont know, you'll have to ask her.' the doctor then proceeded to bend down, and say in the same way you would to a feverish three year old :' do you know whats the matter with you?'
i leaned forward, and in the most patronising voice i possibly could said 'yes. its called benign intracranial hypertension. do you want me to write it down for you?' she promptly stood up, looked at me like she wanted to slap me, and asked me to follow her. she then walked away as quick as she possibly could, with the baby's nan practically running me after her, my wheelchair wheels almost falling off at the unexpected speed.
What do you most love to see in a person?
a truely good heart. seeing someone do something good for stranger, even just holding a door open. one of the people i admire the most is actually someone i am privileged enough to call a friend. Colette genuinely cares for people, she has 4 beautiful daughters, who really are an absolute credit to her, they're polite, honest, intelligent and genuine young ladies, just like their mother. at a time in my life when i really needed someone, she was there, when no one else was, and alot of people were against me. in all my stuggles at that time, she was there, without my even needing to ask, even down to getting me a grant to buy my boys school uniform when i couldn't do afford to. she's now a qualified counsellor and school govenor. i never properly thanked her for everything she did, i'm quite shy in some senarios, but i hope she realises how grateful i am.
My Fiance Stuarts blog:
http://stuzoblog.blogspot.co.uk/
What is one goal you’d like to accomplish during your lifetime?
I've my life goal has always been to write a novel and get it published. i'm currently writing a novel. i have actually written a full, 50,000 words novel many years ago, that was destroyed by someone i wont mention. So im now fulfilling my life long dream/goal of writing and, InshAllah, getting my novel published. I will update on the progress of said novel in future blogs.
If you could visit any place in the world, where would you choose to go and why?
i have two places actually, the first and foremost is Paris, France. All my life i've loved france, the language, the people, the geography. i went once, with my school when i was 14, just for the day. this is the one and only time i've left the UK, it was for about 12 hours and i loved every single nanosecond and i've spent the many years that have followed that day, edging to go back. Paris has always my desired destination, but over the last 6 months i've really wanted to go to Egypt. i want to visit a Muslim country, to hear the Azaan in real life, see everyone rush to prayer, to be surrounded by covered women, and it being the norm rather than the minority. even though i'm not Muslim, as most of you know, i have massive respect and interest in Islam, so to experience it myself would be wonderful
Are you a morning or night person?
I'm a night person, i hate mornings as a rule. well, i hate getting up in the morning, but i love 5am-6am in spring, the fresh crisp air, the silence of traffic, the birds singing and the sun slowly waking up. and a lovely cuppa tea to complete the picture. bliss.
If you had to describe yourself using three words, it would be…
Honest, Loving, and i like to hope, funny.
Who is your favourite Author?
I have two, John Green, author of Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns and his latest book The Fault In Our Stars. The other is Richelle Mead, author of the vampire academy series and the storm queen series, both are absolutely mind blowingly awesome series of books.
If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
it varies. obviously and author, but in addition to that, i'd be a singer or actress. i have no singing ability, and my memory is too rubbish for acting . because there's a reasonable wage in these career choices, i'd use the many monies to go do charity/missionary work in developing countries, building/supply hospitals, provinding health and nutritional care to mothers and young children etc.
What do you most dislike to see in people?
i absolutely despise people being rude and patronising. really hate it. as with most people, if someone is rude to me, i can be rude back. i'm only rude back about 50% of the time, but because i live by my motto : 'you cant expect respect if you don't give it, speak to people how you want to be spoken to' people are not very often rude to me. i just don't give people a reason to be rude to me. so if someone is rude, i'm often so shocked, i just don't say anything. i dont see the need. a week ago, someone i wont name was extremely rude to me from the first sentence. we'd never met before, i had no idea who she was and i was absolutely gobsmacked that she spoke to me like i was naughty child. she was rude and very condesending at the same time, no mean feat, and i was so surprised i literally said nothing. but every so often, someone will be rude or condesending and i will respond in kind. heres a mini story of such an occasion:...
i was taken to a and e with severe pain from my neck down. i had a brain fluid disorder which was causing the pain. my baby's nan took me to the hospital. a doctor, who, Wallahi was called Doctor Seuss, looked straight over the top of my head and practically demanded of my babys nan : 'what is it thats wrong with her?'
my rather surprised baby's nan replied: 'i dont know, you'll have to ask her.' the doctor then proceeded to bend down, and say in the same way you would to a feverish three year old :' do you know whats the matter with you?'
i leaned forward, and in the most patronising voice i possibly could said 'yes. its called benign intracranial hypertension. do you want me to write it down for you?' she promptly stood up, looked at me like she wanted to slap me, and asked me to follow her. she then walked away as quick as she possibly could, with the baby's nan practically running me after her, my wheelchair wheels almost falling off at the unexpected speed.
What do you most love to see in a person?
a truely good heart. seeing someone do something good for stranger, even just holding a door open. one of the people i admire the most is actually someone i am privileged enough to call a friend. Colette genuinely cares for people, she has 4 beautiful daughters, who really are an absolute credit to her, they're polite, honest, intelligent and genuine young ladies, just like their mother. at a time in my life when i really needed someone, she was there, when no one else was, and alot of people were against me. in all my stuggles at that time, she was there, without my even needing to ask, even down to getting me a grant to buy my boys school uniform when i couldn't do afford to. she's now a qualified counsellor and school govenor. i never properly thanked her for everything she did, i'm quite shy in some senarios, but i hope she realises how grateful i am.
My Fiance Stuarts blog:
http://stuzoblog.blogspot.co.uk/
Thursday, 3 May 2012
The Daily Mail …why I hate them as much as they hate me.
The daily Mail is a British tabloid newspaper, first published in 1896 by Lord Northcliffe, it is stated to be a ‘middle market tabloid newspaper’ by Wikipedia.
From the beginning, the daily mail was supposedly aimed at Women, being the first newspaper of its kind, to write and produce articles especially for them. Over 50% of daily mail readers are women, the only newspaper to have a higher ratio of female readers than male in Britain.
This is an extremely strange concept for me to grasp to be honest. I am in no way claiming to be a journalist, or even close. But some of the stories I’ve had the misfortune to read, are either shockingly offensive, hugely lacking in fact, or simply a ‘non story.’
As this is a long blog post and I’m sure people will not read it to the end, I’ll start with the most important story to me.
Juliet Shaw was interviewed by the daily mail, under the pretence of the article being about people moving from the city to the countryside. This was only partially true. I won’t put all the details here, but I URGE you to read the story for yourself, there is a link below. It is a horrify story of a woman’s life being turned upside down, of public embarrassment and the effects a defamatory piece can have on someone’s life. Juliet was portrayed to be a single, desperate woman, uprooting herself and two children hundreds of miles away; all to find the man she so desperately craved. None of it was true.
In the end she did win a case against the daily mail, after they repeatedly shot down her requests to withdraw their almost completely fraudulent article. They agreed to either apologies, OR compensate; not both. After the financial loss Juliet endured, travel, phone calls, photocopying, loss of earnings etc., she opted for the money, as I believe, any sensible woman with mouths to feed would do. As I say, I urge you to read her story, as it really is a telling tale of what the daily mail is really about.
Here is an example of a non-story, ‘Withdrawal problems: Broke Octomom visits ATM... But is there any cash left in the bank?’ In a nutshell, this story is about ‘octomom’ Nadya Suleman, going to a cashpoint, without her 14 children, after declaring herself bankrupt. That’s the long and short of it. The article also depicts photographs of Nadya running away from paparazzi’s; is it any wonder her children didn’t accompany her on this trip? Octomom appears to be a favourite victim of the daily mail, from claims of child neglect, which proved to be untrue, to a headline stating: Octomom Nadya Suleman describes her youngest children as 'eight pieces of poop, when the direct quote was in actual fact: (regarding looking after 8 under 3’s) 'It's a piece of poop…eight pieces of poop, all day long. But the rewards outweigh anything negative.' Nadya had spent 20 minutes before this damning sentence saying how her children were her life, the problems she’d had in pregnancy and how she’d refused drugs to help her migraines because of the concern for her children’s health. The quote was taken entirely out of context. Much like the majority of the daily mails ‘quotes.’
They love to focus on the number of children she has, and try to give the impression that she purposely fell pregnant with the 8 babies as some sort of publicity stunt. Nadya has stated that she was given the impression that she would only get pregnant with one baby, and needed all 8 embryos for a chance of one surviving. I know there are many different opinions of her floating around, I personally believe Nadya, as she already had 6 children when she conceived the octuplets, but the fact of the matter is: no one knows for sure. Due to this fact, as newspapers are supposed to reveal fact, not opinion, I think they should either give her the benefit of the doubt, or simply not comment on the matter of if she chose to have all 8 implanted with the intention of having all the babies survive. And no matter whether you support or condone her, I think we can all agree until they can 100% undeniably prove that she purposely got herself in this situation, they should stop reporting it as fact.
If there’s a way of putting a negative spin on things, the daily mail will find it. In my humble opinion, the daily mail hates anyone doing anything that isn’t ‘the norm.’ Single mothers, homosexuals, the unemployed, non-whites, Muslims, teenagers, especially teenagers of colour, they’re all viable victims for the daily mail.
I am openly not a fan of the reality show ‘the only way is Essex.’ Being an ‘Essex girl’ I don’t like the way the show portrays girls from Essex, as if we’re all stupid, with fake hair, nails, lashes and tans, and use an inappropriate quantity of vowels in every sentence. That being said, a recent article about one of the cast members, Chloe Sims, really boiled my blood. The article, a link to which, along with all the other stories I’ve mentioned, is linked below. Long story short, the aforementioned Chloe has a 7 year old daughter. For her 7th birthday, Chloe took her daughter to a small Essex farm, and the daily mail has a field day. From accusing her of hoping her daughter meant health farm rather than animal farm, to being ‘dragged down to old MacDonald’s farm.’ Of course, being a young Essex mum, who cares about her looks, she couldn’t possibly WANT to take her young daughter to a farm for her birthday, she would’ve had to of been dragged kicking and screaming all the way. Obviously they had no evidence whatsoever for any of their claims, but that doesn’t have anything to do with the vile nastiness they print.
It would appear that if a woman is successful; she’s a man hater, without any maternal feelings of her own. Or, if she’s taken the traditional route of staying at home to raise her children, she’s a lazy co-dependant waste, spitting on the sacrifices of suffragettes. Have a child under 25? She’s a benefit cheat, only interested in the perks and free mansions those are benefits are accustomed to. If she has children over 30 however, she’s career obsessed, only popping out a sprog to silence the ever loudening sound of her biological clock ticking away.
The daily mail seems to have a consistent belief, that any woman, who has children and has had the misfortune to become separated from the children’s father, is nothing but a benefit scrounger who should be forced to work all the hours God sends as penitence for her sins, with absolutely no help from the state. They should all be forced into communes for fallen women, 7 to a room, at the edge of every town, to think very carefully about what they’ve done. Gay people are simply confused, misguided, rebelling or adults of an abusive childhood who are trying to take away the rights of the good solid right wing tax payers. If they were allowed to be married, surely the world would implode instantly. All Muslims want to introduce sharia law for all the citizens of Britain, Muslim or not, and by sharia law, the evil Muslims obviously mean all gays are to be instantly put to death, all women are to be seen and not heard and the burka will be enforced upon all females over the age of 4.
Obviously, for legal reason, I am exaggerating.
What I find so absolutely incredible about the daily mail, and in particular their hatred for anyone who is on benefits, therefore not paying taxes, is that of the 4th Viscount Rothermere. A direct quote from Wikipedia is ‘…He has held various positions in Associated Newspapers and was Managing Director of the Evening Standard when the sudden death of his father resulted in his becoming the controlling shareholder [2] and Chairman of Associated and of its parent Daily Mail and General Trust plc just before his 31st birthday.’
the 4th viscount, does not pay taxes. He is registered as a non-domiciled citizen in the UK. So he doesn’t have to pay a single copper coin on his rumoured £1.4 billion net worth.
How anyone can be associated with any rag that promotes the hate and judgement of the poorest people in this country, solely on the fact they don’t pay taxes, when he is worth that amount and doesn’t pay anything, is absolutely beyond me.
I really could go on and on, but this blog is probably the longest I’ve ever written, and I applaud you if you’ve reached this far! So I shall leave you will just a few of the nick names given to the daily mail, and the links to all sources I’ve used for this blog. I, unlike the daily mail, not only cite my sources, I don’t use ‘artistic licence’ to change them to what I want them to say….
‘Fascism with oven gloves’
‘The daily fail’
‘The daily heil’
‘The daily hate mail’
‘The daily wail’
‘The daily bile’
Juliet Shaw’s blog on her treatment from the daily mail: http://nosleeptilbrooklands.blogspot.co.uk/2011/01/true-story-of-daily-mail-lies-guest.html
Octomom calling her kids pieces of poo, and a video at the bottom of octomom explaining how she conceived and the aforementioned quote:
Octomom goes to an ATM: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2138096/Nadya-Suleman-Octomom-visits-ATM-machine-signing-porn-deal-combat-1m-debt.html#ixzz1tfjUe9bU
Daily mail Wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daily_Mail
Jonathan Harmsworth
(4th viscount of Rothermere) net worth: http://www.forbes.com/lists/2006/10/TYUE.html
Thursday, 22 March 2012
New Video
Hope everyone is well, i've just uploaded a new video, just a quick update with me repeating myself at the end because my 8 year old was directly behind my camera distracting me.
i'm going to do a Q&A, so ask any questions you want to ask on the video comments or on my facebook. if you tweet me i probably wont see it and i dont want to miss any of your questions!
hope everyone is well, be good to each other xx
i'm going to do a Q&A, so ask any questions you want to ask on the video comments or on my facebook. if you tweet me i probably wont see it and i dont want to miss any of your questions!
hope everyone is well, be good to each other xx
Friday, 10 February 2012
Well...stuff happens
Well things are going ok. I'm coping with life, the universe and everything.
uploading has become a fricking nightmare. For some inexplicable reason all my videos are saving in a massive format and youtube ain't happy about the situation.
It appears i can only upload in 'Crome Incognito' mode, and with an etheral cable plugged into my laptop. if thats what it takes i'll do it!
My recently uploaded video 'Gothmummi: Thoughts on bereavement (RIP the best grandad in the world)', explains a bit of my absence and what i've been feeling.
my videos will probably never be popular. I'm just not that interesting. or that good if we're being honest with ourselves. But as long as i have one subscriber, i'll keep on at it. I love making videos, well, not while i'm making them, but once the finished product is up i'm happy.
I'll be trying to upload videos more regularly now, so i hope everyone keeps watching, and commenting. comments really do mean alot to me, and i try to reply to them all.
uploading has become a fricking nightmare. For some inexplicable reason all my videos are saving in a massive format and youtube ain't happy about the situation.
It appears i can only upload in 'Crome Incognito' mode, and with an etheral cable plugged into my laptop. if thats what it takes i'll do it!
My recently uploaded video 'Gothmummi: Thoughts on bereavement (RIP the best grandad in the world)', explains a bit of my absence and what i've been feeling.
my videos will probably never be popular. I'm just not that interesting. or that good if we're being honest with ourselves. But as long as i have one subscriber, i'll keep on at it. I love making videos, well, not while i'm making them, but once the finished product is up i'm happy.
I'll be trying to upload videos more regularly now, so i hope everyone keeps watching, and commenting. comments really do mean alot to me, and i try to reply to them all.
Saturday, 21 January 2012
thoughts of bereavment
Things have changed for me. No one says anything anymore do they? When I make videos, I don’t make them for me, I make them for you. I do what I think people will watch. I have things I want to say, and I don’t in case, you my beloved viewer, get bored. I’m lying. I’m not saying what I want to say, I’m not doing what I want to do, I’m doing what I think you want me to do. It’s lying, in a sense. And we all lie, lying is not always for personal gain, but it usually is to deceive. Even if it’s for the greater good. We lie to ourselves and we lie to each other.
My granddad died on Monday at 3am. I know you shouldn’t have favourites, but we all did. Pit was OUR granddad. And he’s gone. He outlived my other granddads, I had three, and he was our favourite. In the days leading up to his death, we all kept saying: you alright? You alright mum? You alright tiff? You alright twiggy? You alright lence? And we all said? Yeah. I’m alright.
None of us are ‘alright.’ We will be, at some time, we will be alright. Right now, we’re not, none of us our but even to each other, we can’t say, no I’m not alright, my dad’s gone, my granddads gone. I feel like this feeling is never going to end, I feel like I should be crying all the time, I feel like my soul left when he took his last breath, I feel like nothing in the world will ever be the same, and I’m sorry for the time I wasted, the days gone by when I had nothing to do and didn’t go round for a visit because that time, is gone. And I can’t get it back. No. I’m not alright. But thanks for asking.
I, right now, feel like I won’t be the same again. Something has gone, and something else is in its place. I don’t know what ‘it’ is, but it’s there. I feel, alone. I’m pretty much surrounded by people, but they’re not inside my bubble. They’re there, but not. I can’t accept he’s gone, because he’s always been there. And now he isn’t. That is how I feel.
There’s going to people, who think ‘keep some shit to you!’ well. It’s my shit. I own it. And if I want to give, just a little bit, to the rest of the world. I’m going to. Don’t waste your time. Don’t spend the days, the weeks, the years, on people who mean nothing to you. Who you mean nothing to. Surround yourself, protect yourself, and make your bubble big enough to fit every person who makes you smile, on the inside. Don’t get bored, ring your mum, ring you’re Nan, ring someone else’s Nan. Don’t look back, and think: I wish I’d bothered. You’ll find the time to tidy up, to do the washing, to finish that paper. But when someone’s gone, their gone. Never waste a moment. You’ll never get it back.
My granddad died on Monday at 3am. I know you shouldn’t have favourites, but we all did. Pit was OUR granddad. And he’s gone. He outlived my other granddads, I had three, and he was our favourite. In the days leading up to his death, we all kept saying: you alright? You alright mum? You alright tiff? You alright twiggy? You alright lence? And we all said? Yeah. I’m alright.
None of us are ‘alright.’ We will be, at some time, we will be alright. Right now, we’re not, none of us our but even to each other, we can’t say, no I’m not alright, my dad’s gone, my granddads gone. I feel like this feeling is never going to end, I feel like I should be crying all the time, I feel like my soul left when he took his last breath, I feel like nothing in the world will ever be the same, and I’m sorry for the time I wasted, the days gone by when I had nothing to do and didn’t go round for a visit because that time, is gone. And I can’t get it back. No. I’m not alright. But thanks for asking.
I, right now, feel like I won’t be the same again. Something has gone, and something else is in its place. I don’t know what ‘it’ is, but it’s there. I feel, alone. I’m pretty much surrounded by people, but they’re not inside my bubble. They’re there, but not. I can’t accept he’s gone, because he’s always been there. And now he isn’t. That is how I feel.
There’s going to people, who think ‘keep some shit to you!’ well. It’s my shit. I own it. And if I want to give, just a little bit, to the rest of the world. I’m going to. Don’t waste your time. Don’t spend the days, the weeks, the years, on people who mean nothing to you. Who you mean nothing to. Surround yourself, protect yourself, and make your bubble big enough to fit every person who makes you smile, on the inside. Don’t get bored, ring your mum, ring you’re Nan, ring someone else’s Nan. Don’t look back, and think: I wish I’d bothered. You’ll find the time to tidy up, to do the washing, to finish that paper. But when someone’s gone, their gone. Never waste a moment. You’ll never get it back.
Salaam alaikum. Be good to each other.
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